Empty nest syndrome is a feeling of great loss or sadness when a child leaves home to go to college or just leave on their own.
If you are the mother or mother figure of a child, you may experience a true sense of loss, loneliness or inadequacy. You feel like your job is over (it’s not!) And your baby doesn’t need you anymore. (They do!)
For some, not getting involved in your child’s daily life and this can cause temporary identity crises, not just for mothers, but fathers as well. You may find yourself feeling indifferent or restless with unaccounted tears or just being very emotional. You may wonder who you are and what you value if not as a parent.
Believe it or not, this could be a significant and positive transition and growth period for you!
Here are some secrets to ensuring a healthy new life for you, without working too hard.
1.Renew Your Marriage Wows
Even if not literally, figuratively. This will probably be a time to remember why you are together and all the wonderful times you had before the kids. Do date night. Join a dance club or some activity that you can enjoy and do as a couple. This is the perfect time to rebuild your partnership and enjoy life together without children. Ask your spouse, set a plan together. How will you use this time? Alone? Never mind What can you do to enhance your relationship, now that you have time? Write down Follow by now.
2.Free Up Time Alone
You now have the peace and tranquility you want. Remember when they played their music so loud, their friends were so loud and you wondered if there would be peace again? Well, right now! What are you going to do To read Knit? Paint? How will you use your quiet time? List creation.
3.Restarting or Starting A New Friendship
The solitude business is great, but you also need people in your life. Think of a friendship that would have had a burner in the back when you were raising your children. Contact them! Tell them you are much more available and want to renew the friendship you had. You may also want to add new friends to this mix. Get yourself out there. Socialization. Sign up for classes. Learn a new language or learn more about computers related topics. Classes are a great way to get people to like you and meet new people at the same time.
4.Expand Your Horizons
Make your world bigger. When was your last trip or vacation? You don’t have to go around the world, just come out of town. Expand your world view. Choose a place and go. Explore. Your kids are making their world bigger just by leaving home. Now it’s your turn. where are you going?
5.Get Something Meaningful and Valuable.
Raising your children is a full time job. It has definitely been meaningful for both of you. Now that it’s gone and you need to change it, you need another way to do your special work. What is your strength? What are your skills? How can you use this to help others? Then whether it’s a church, community or more global, your gifts are needed. What are your special gifts? How do you get them to us?
Life is a journey. Not only do your kids make one, but so do you. See the bigger picture of your life. Getting your kids to live their own lives is a small piece. Consider this time of your life one step, one step in the right direction. You have your own life now, so live it!
6.Don’t Be Afraid to Talk About How You Feel
One of the most common mistakes people make when dealing with empty nest syndrome is that they retreat deep into their own shell, wanting to deal with feelings of loneliness on their own. According to relationship experts, this is the first mistake to avoid. Probably, your spouse feels the same way, and there is no better way than to share a common problem with your spouse.
More About Empty Nest Syndrome
Many women feel incomplete, empty, or bored, as if they were experiencing “empty structure syndrome.” It is very understandable, as they are very much involved with their children so far. When children become more independent, when they live in your home, you are still somewhat involved in their lives. You know they will come home someday. They provide conversation and interesting stories (especially if you have a daughter!).
Now, whether the kids are leaving home to go to college, get married or just travel, it leaves a void in mom’s life. He knows this is normal progress, but it doesn’t make it easy. She has all this free time left on her hands, and is not sure how to fill it. What can you do to make the transition easier?
I remember one day I was conversing with my own wonderful mom on the back steps of the house. She was feeling very low because she, then in her fifties, was at a loss as to how to spend her time. It’s always “stay at home mom.” It was always the same for us – no matter what. Now, all her children grew up and out of the house, and she feels that she is too old to go back to the staff. She did not know how to fill all the hours of her day.
That conversation really made an impression on me, and it warned me to always be involved with “something”. I quit my job when I was pregnant with my first child and never returned. Then i homeschooled my children for ten years, and in my youngest last year of homeschooling, I began to pray and ask God what I should do next. I felt like he led me to start a home business.
The first business I started lasted only a year, then I started my current business and have been doing it for about three years now. I am so thankful that God led me to this, as it challenges the purpose of my life, as well as a way to pass my time.
There are other things moms can do who deal with empty nest syndrome. They can volunteer at a local hospital or nursing home. May be involve in a ministry in their church. They can babysit a young mother who likes one day every week. Or, can get a real job outside the home.
My favorite option, although I am bias, is to own a home business. It still allows you to relax during working hours, at the same time, giving you a little extra income, interacting with others and a general understanding of purpose and direction each day. I love it! And it will take time to volunteer if you want to.
Whatever you choose, choose something! Sometimes, the hardest part is taking that first step and doing something new. I know, for me, I always felt like I would never compare anything to being a mom, so it all went ahead in comparison. But I have to say that I enjoy working in my business, and despite being a mom, it definitely helps to fill the void.